#WhatDoYouExpect when you are sexting?

  • Facebook Black Round
  • Instagram Black Round
  • Twitter Black Round

Sexting is sending sexual selfies, photographs or messages via mobile phone, email or social media.

 Did you know if you are under 15 you might be committing a crime, potentially involving child pornography and sex offences?  If you do decide to sext it is a good idea to check out some LAWSTUFF first so you know where you stand. Then you need to think about safety, an image lasts forever and if you don't think someone will pass on a pic or potential employers will google your name when you apply for a job - think again!

 

Not all young people sext. Relationships involve lots of activities that don't require you to send nude pictures of yourself. You should also only sext if its something you really want to do, don't let other people pressure you into it.  

 

Remember- with rights come responsibilities. You have a responsibility to delete photos of your ex when you break up, to let people decide for themselves if they want to sext and to not share private pictures or even pass on an image that wasn't meant for you.

We all have a right to feel safe. Sexting can be an enjoyable and safe way to explore your sexuality. It is a great way to talk to your partner about what you like and how you feel. Sexting can be great foreplay. However sexting also comes with some risks and knowing yourself and how to handle a few tricky situations is really important. 

I expect to feel safe when I sext.

Pornography tells us that sexy is full nudity, genitals and sex acts but real world sex is about intimacy and pleasure between two people.  Don’t underestimate how powerful “…” can be.  Those three little dots entice the imagination, are super flirty and kind of don’t mean anything if someone happens to see your private ... 

Don’t believe gender stereotypes.  Women aren't always submissive and men aren't always dominant, you have a right to be whoever you want to be, don’t let the media or other people's ideas fool you, slut-shame you, victim-blame you or strip you of your authentic self.

Sexting when you are drunk affects your judgement (and your spelling!). It also increases the chances of you sending it to the wrong person.  Try to avoid hitting send on your sext until the next morning, that way you can make sure you still think it’s a good idea and start someone’s day off with a smile! 

I expect to sext free from coercion and pressure.

Sexting is a mutual activity that two people engage in because they want to. You are the only one who can decide if you want to sext or not.  If someone is nagging you or pressuring you to send naked pictures of yourself they probably aren’t really someone you want to share them with anyway.  Relationships are based on respect- this includes respecting the other persons decisions.

If you feel like you are the one always being asked to send sexy pics, try and share the fun “I’d love to see a picture of you now” or “It’s your turn ;)". If a request for photos makes you uncomfortable, remember you don't have to send them- trust your intuition. 

 

Being assertive means you respect yourself and stand up for what you believe is right. If someone is presuring you to sext, introducing some humour can be a good way to cool things down. There are a lot of great apps on the market that can help you think of a good comeback.

I expect my sext to be kept private.

While sexting is supposed to be between you and the person you send the pic too but we have all heard stories of pictures being shared, or worse still – going viral! There are some great things you can do to help protect yourself if you do happen to sext someone who does the wrong thing with your pic.

Think outside the box! Sexting doesn’t have to be a pic of your genitals and a suggestive picture can be a lot more enticing.  A photo of some underwear on the floor with a condom on top is just as effective. You can even zoom right in on cleavage, biceps, ears, a hand holding a banana.  Let your imagination (and theirs) run wild!

Another thing you need to think about is metadata, this is the information (name, location, date) your phone and computer tag your pics with.  There are lots of great tutorials which show you how to delete this metadata, google your phone or computer model.

Ask yourself how you would feel if your parents saw this picture.  The best way to handle this is to only take photos that are anonymous, so no face with that naked body pic! Hide your tattoo, birthmark and the necklace of your name.